The Misfit

IMG_7167Story by Zenith

I am Azeeza. I lived in Bangladesh with my family. I have a brother & a sister. Both of them are settled & married. My family is very conventional & conservative .

I was considered as the misfit of the family.I did not want to become a doctor or an engineer like any of my siblings. I wanted to do something else . Thus,my family thought that I was against them.

My sister became a doctor & my brother became an Engineer. During studying Business Administrations I started a business of my own .

I opened up an online shop on Facebook. I sold lamps & some of the other crafts I designed. Gradually I added handmade accessories to my collection. It was nothing serious at first but it gradually grew & by the end of my studies I earned enough  to get myself going. I wanted my business to expand so I decided to learn more about crafts.

I wanted to become an entrepreneur.I did not just want to stay in one place. I did not want to be someones wife & stay inside four walls.After finishing studies I did not feel good in the place I was living.I wanted to progress. I wanted to get out of my parents house without getting married. I wanted to be on my own & my parents started insisting me on getting married.

I wanted to enjoy & experience new things.For the first time I thought that it stood a chance. So, I decided to go study abroad for my masters. I did not want stay where I was born & I definitely did not want to die there.I believed that there are greater things in life.

My then boyfriend Rafiq never approved anything I was passionate about.

He used to say,”Do you really have to do this? “

Actually, it was difficult for me to even to get out of the house let alone choosing the right partner. Often, I felt suffocated. Rafiq was a good person but he was not the one.He was more like a friend to me always as he was one of the first friends I made in University. All I ever felt that we were not in a romantic relationship. I surely did not love him. He was my last failed relationship which ended a year & half ago. Honestly ,none of the men in my life ever got past the fact that I was a women & I must have boundaries.All of them believed these stereotypes that made me resent them.

I was really lucky that I made it through my business. We were all a team.When I decided to go abroad I did not tell it to anyone. I decided to expand my business. I wanted to add some items imported too. I also decided to trust my business to Oindrila. She is one of my business partners.

As I applied for scholarship.I almost had no hope but I landed a scholarship to Germany. I could not believe it. I did not expect it.I paid for my own language classes without my family’s approval.

My family never approved of any of the things I wanted to do!

My parents were stunned. They wanted me to get married to the next guy they saw. So, when I told them about my scholarship they refused to pay for my alimony .

My siblings stepped up,they supported me which was surprising. My sister Ayesha took my side. Slowly my brother Azeem also came aboard with us.

I was firm on my decision. Nothing could change my mind.They supported my decision of studying abroad. I felt strong because of them.I was kicked out of my parents house so I lived with Ayesha until the time I left the country .

My siblings & my friend said their goodbyes before the flight.As I flew, I became really emotional.The next part was the hardest which was adjusting.

I adjusted gradually as everything was arranged. I was judged at times because I wore a hijab. My hijab was not imposed on me. It is my choice to cover up my body. It is my belief that is strong.

 I made friends who accepted me as I was. They respected me & my religion. One of my closest friends were Eartha. Meanwhile, I was living in Germany I maintained my contact with my siblings & closest friends. Coming abroad had developed my relationship with my siblings but my parents had not talked to me then.

During summer, Eartha & I decided to take an arts & crafts class. She was interested in arts & crafts as I was.

One day , while I was getting ready a call came to me. It was my mother.She kept sobbing & said,”How are you,my girl? You never think of me?”  Thus, my relationship with my parents developed.

Now two years later, I am a married woman.I got married last week to my perfect match Arif whom I met in Germany.He also went there to study. He was different which made me fall in love with him.He did not believe in stereotypes. He accepted me fully. He appreciated mew into doing things. He appreciated me in expanding my business.

Arif was by my side ever since I met him. He was not only my life-partner but also my best friend.

I expanded my business of arts & crafts. It is doing well now! My friend Oindrila had made it come this far !

Now, Arif & I plan to take a tour of the world which I always dreamed of! I have already visited some places in the world. I like to travel.It makes me forget race,color & every other thing that makes me feel excluded. It makes me embrace everything without judging.It made me know the unknown & acknowledge things I never imagined!

In past years,I went to India & Spain !

Each place made me realize that it is diversity that makes the world interesting !

Actually there are no good or evil. There is just different if you just thought out of the box.Different people have different opinions.

I loved to visit these places. India was beautiful & culturally diverse. Spain was the dream.

I could achieve all these precious memories because I was a misfit! It was my loved ones who drove me to my dream.

I did not follow stereotypes I followed my heart!




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